Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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