ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
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I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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