i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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