it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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