My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize