i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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