I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
did i just pee glitter
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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