Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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