You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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