'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He did a backflip because drugs
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