Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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