Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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