in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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