It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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