at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize