I'll bet she douches with gravy.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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