I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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