I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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