you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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