coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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