We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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