Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
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Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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