Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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