Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize