whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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