sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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