All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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