yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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