i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
one might say we're banned from that church
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
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You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
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It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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