it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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