That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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