I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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