is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize