If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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