My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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