Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize