In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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