I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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