Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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