And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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