peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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