I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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