i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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