My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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