i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
one might say we're banned from that church
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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