Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize