Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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