What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cannot find my penis.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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