Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
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I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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