You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize